Answer 1

Why were there hardly any white people at Obama's inauguration?
They were all working!

Answer 2

Patient: I have a serious problem. I can never remember what I just said.
Doctor: When did you first notice this problem?
Patient: What problem!?

Answer 3

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the 5th one enjoys it?

Answer 4

I'm going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I'm outstanding.

Answer 5

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Fo' Drizzle

Answer 6

A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under one arm. His wife is lying in bed reading. Husband: This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache. Wife: I think you'll find that's a sheep. Husband: I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep!

Answer 7

I hate weddings because old people always poke you and say "you're next!" So I started doing the same thing to do them at funerals!

Answer 8

T-shirt: I'm not childish. You're just a big doody head!

Answer 9

I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals...

Answer 10

Can I ask you two questions?
OK, what's the 2nd one?

Answer 11

Jane: My short-term memory is very bad!
Tom: How bad is it?
Jane: How bad is what?

Answer 12

Answer 13

Answer 14

Answer 15

A sphincter says what? What? Exactly!

Answer 16