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Redneck jokes

  
Requested in Society & Nature by a contributor
edited by MC Jester

22 Jokes

2 like 0 dislike
Rednecks don't let friends drive home drunk... They get drunk and ride along with them!
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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions?
To pick up chicks.
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What is the best part about a redneck family fight?
The make-up sex
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What do you call a redneck with 4 sheep?
A pimp!
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What happened when the redneck was shootin' craps?
He blew a hole in the toilet.
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You might live in a redneck town if the dollar store is bigger than the Walmart.
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How do you say "I Love You" in Spanish?  Te Amo
How do you say "I Love You" in German?  Ich Liebe Dich
How do you say "I Love You" in Redneck?  Nice Tits!
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What do you call a redneck bursting into flames?
A fire cracker!
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How can you tell if a redneck wedding is formal?
The shotgun is painted white.
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A redneck died and left his entire estate to his widow. The problem is she can't touch it until she turns 14!
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How are rednecks like yeast?
They're both in bread.
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What's the last thing a redneck says before he dies?
"Hey guys! Watch this!"
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"Mullets, pickups, banjos... Rednecks sure do carry on the traditions of their incestors."
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What is the sweat produced when 2 rednecks are having sex called?
Relative humidity
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How can you determine that a death certificate was filled out by a redneck doctor?
He signs his name under "cause of death!"
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Why are redneck murders hard to solve?
There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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How do you know you're at a redneck church?
The last words of the benediction are "Y'all come back now, ya hear?"
Shared by Argo
edited by MC Jester
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What do you call a redneck Satan?
A Beelzebubba
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How can you tell a redneck is moving?
His monster truck is causing traffic.
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What do you call a redneck virgin?
A 7-year old that can run faster than her brother!
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How do you know you're at a redneck wedding?
The bride keeps calling the groom daddy.

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