Answer 1

How do you know you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

Answer 2

"Buy me another beer. You're still ugly."

Answer 3

Wife: I'm trying to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat.
Husband: Just cut off your head!

Answer 4

You're dark and handsome... When it's dark you're handsome!

Answer 5

"How could two people as beautiful as you two have such an ugly baby?"

Answer 6

"I was an ugly baby. My mother never breast-fed me because she only liked me as a friend."

Answer 7

Never get into a fight with an ugly person. They have nothing to lose.

Answer 8

Teacher: That child with the short hair and blue jeans. Is that a boy or a girl?
Parent: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
Teacher: I'm so sorry, sir. I didn't know you were her father.
Parent: I'm not. I'm her mother!

Answer 9

"The problem is the camera always catches you on your worst side... the outside!"

Answer 10

"You look like you just stepped out of a beauty shop... and fell flat on your face!"

Answer 11

Answer 12

My wife's skin looks like a million dollars... wrinkled and green!

Answer 13

A man stands on the bathroom scale sucking in his stomach. Wife:...

Answer 14

Answer 15

Why is ET short? Because he has little legs!