Answer 1

The director told the students "the female dormitory is off-limits to male students and female students are not allowed in the male one. Anyone who breaks this rule will be fined $20 the first time, $60 the second time, and $180 the third. Any questions?" A male student in the crowd asks "So how much is a season pass?"

Answer 2

Why do University of Alabama graduates hang their diplomas from their rear view mirror?
So they can use handicapped parking.

Answer 3

A professor gave an assignment to his class. The only reason for not finishing would be if you were sick or a relative died. A guy student said "but I don't think I'll be able to finish because of sexual exhaustion."

The class started laughing. The professor suggested "maybe you should try using the other hand!?"

Answer 4

How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. But it takes 7 years.

Answer 5

College is a fountain of knowledge... and the students are there to drink.

Answer 6

An Engineering Major asks "How does it work?"
A Science Major asks "Why does it work?"
An Accounting Major asks "How much will it cost?"
A Liberal Arts Major asks "Do you want fries with that?"

Answer 7

Nursing: Learning to save people's lives while struggling not to...

Answer 8

Jeremy: But, officer, I am a college graduate. Police Officer:...

Answer 9

How do you get an asu alum off your porch? Pay for the pizza!

Answer 10

How many Duke students does it take to change a light bulb? Three....

Answer 11

How many Princeton students does it take to change a light...