Answer 1

What's the difference between you and eggs?
Eggs get laid and you don't.

Answer 2

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

Answer 3

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

Answer 4

When people first meet you they don't like you. But once they get to know you better they really hate you!

Answer 5

Answer 6

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Answer 7

Did your shrink tell you to just be yourself? Well, he couldn't have given you worse advice!?

Answer 8

Stick your tongue out. Move it up and down. Then relax and move it left and right. Well done! You've now completed the Christopher Reeves workout video!

Answer 9

You are depriving some poor village of its idiot!

Answer 10

Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if you got enough oxygen at birth?

Answer 11

Are your parents siblings?

Answer 12

Any similarity between you and and an actual human is purely coincidental!

Answer 13

Do you want people to accept you for who you are? Or do you want them to actually like you?

Answer 14

He's so great at sex! If only he had a partner.

Answer 15

Did you know you're a regular Don Juan? That's because all women 'Don Juan' to have anything to do with you!

Answer 16

I never forget a face but, in your case, I'll make an exception!

Answer 17

A woman went to a sweet store to get some sweets. The boy behind the counter said "Boy, you sure are ugly, aren't you? I've never seen anyone as hideous as you before."

"Young man," she replied, "I didn't come here to be insulted!"

"Really?" he said, "where do you usually go?"

Answer 18

You don't believe in being artificial. So you want people to hate you for yourself?

Answer 19

I feel sorry for you because you're so ugly but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you!

Answer 20

I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high!

Answer 21

Some people are has-been's. You are a never-was!

Answer 22

Did you hear someone has invented a coffin that just covers the head?
It's for people like you who are dead from the neck up!

Answer 23

What's the latest dope - besides you?

Answer 24

I've seen people like you before but I had to pay admission.

Answer 25

Your gene pool could use some chlorine!

Answer 26

I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.

Answer 27

Your proctologist called... They just found your head!

Answer 28

Don't you love nature... despite what it did to you?

Answer 29

Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up!

Answer 30

He's hard to forget... but well worth the effort.

Answer 31

I believe in respect for the dead... in fact I could only respect you if you were dead!

Answer 32

Let me guess what you use for contraception... Your personality!

Answer 33

I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame!

Answer 34

Support your local Search and Rescue unit. Get lost!

Answer 35

What you lack in intelligence you more than make up for in stupidity!

Answer 36

Mirrors don't lie and lucky for you they can't laugh either!

Answer 37

You're not as bad as people say... you're worse!

Answer 38

You have a lot of well-wishers here... they'd all like to throw you down one!

Answer 39

The more I think of you the less I think of you.

Answer 40

It's mind over matter. I don't mind because you don't matter!

Answer 41

If you ever have a bright idea it will be beginner's luck!

Answer 42

I'll never forget the first time we met although I keep trying.

Answer 43

I must admit you brought religion into my life. I never believed in hell until I met you!

Answer 44

Do you know what really amazes me about you? Oops. I thought you were someone else!

Answer 45

Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.

Answer 46

A man was walking on a beach and saw a girl with no arms or legs crying. The man walked up to her and said 'why are you crying?' The girl replied 'I've never been hugged in my life'. So the man picked her up, hugged her and went home. The next day, he was walking on the same beach and saw the girl crying again. He approached her and said 'why are you crying?' The girl replied 'I've never been kissed in my life'. So the man picked her up, kissed her on the cheek and went home. The next day, the man was walking on the beach and saw the same girl crying. He came to her and said 'why are you crying?' She replied 'I've never been screwed in my life'. So the man picked her up, threw her in the ocean and said 'you're screwed now' and went home.

Answer 47

I wouldn't say you're stupid. You are, but I wouldn't say it.

Answer 48

Some cause happiness wherever they go. You make it whenever you go.

Answer 49

make a pig noise obnoxiously loud.

Answer 50

If you tried to enter an ameteur ugly competition, they'd say...

Answer 51

Wife: I'm back from the beauty shop. Husband: I take it they were...