Answer 1

Answer 2

3 insane men walk out of a mental hospital hoping to escape. The first says "if there's a high fence we'll dig under it!" The second says "if there's a low fence we'll jump over it!" The third says "we're out of luck. There's no fence." So instead they went back to their rooms.

Answer 3

"There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you're all of them!"

Answer 4

What's the difference between a psychotic and a neurotic?
A psychotic doesn't believe that 2 + 2 = 4.
A neurotic knows it's true but it bothers him.

Answer 5

Doctor: I think you have a mental health disorder.
Patient: You're just jealous that the voices are talking to me!

Answer 6

"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems."

Answer 7

Patient: I keep dreaming about necrophilia, sadism and bestiality!
Doctor: Forget it, you're beating a dead horse!

Answer 8

"I've been very depressed lately. My wife threatened to leave me. But even that hasn't cheered me up!"

Answer 9

"My inferiority complex isn't as good as yours."

Answer 10

Why was the mental patient balancing almonds on his penis?
Because he's fucking nuts!

Answer 11

"Of course I talk to myself... Sometimes I need expert advice!"

Answer 12

"I hate being bipolar. It's awesome!"

Answer 13

Some people hear voices... Some see invisible people... Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Answer 14

I held a festival of peace and meditation. My neighbors complained...

Answer 15

Yo mama so stupid if she got amnesia she'd get smarter.

Answer 16

"I joined Bachelors Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting...

Answer 17

Answer 18