Answer 1

If life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

Answer 2

When you talk to god it's called praying. When he answers back...

Answer 3

Answer 4

Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.

Answer 5

Answer 6

I want procrastination and I want it tomorrow!

Answer 7

Answer 8

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative!

Answer 9

"I tried to daydream but my mind kept wandering."

Answer 10

How many psychoanalysts does it take to screw in a light bulb? "So...

Answer 11

Answer 12

Answer 13

Yo mama so stupid if she got amnesia she'd get smarter.

Answer 14

"I joined Bachelors Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting...

Answer 15

Answer 16

If you want to know more about paranoids follow them around.

Answer 17

What's the good thing about having Alzheimer's? You get to meet...

Answer 18

I held a festival of peace and meditation. My neighbors complained...

Answer 19

My family is temperamental... Half temper, half mental.

Answer 20

"I know I'm not perfect. But I'm so close it's scary!"