Answer 1

Why did the blonde have an abortion?
She wasn't sure if it was hers or not.

Answer 2

Did you hear about the new form of birth control for blondes?
They take off their makeup.

Answer 3

Why did the blonde give a blow job after sex?
She wanted to have her cock and eat it too!

Answer 4

What is a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
Hump me, Dump me

Answer 5

What do a blonde and a screen door have in common?
The more you bang them the looser they get.

Answer 6

Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge?
They're for those who don't drink!

Answer 7

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Answer 8

What is the difference between a blonde and a brick?
The brick won't follow you home after you lay it.

Answer 9

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Answer 10

What is the difference between the Panama Canal and a blonde?
One's a busy ditch and the other's a ditsy bitch.

Answer 11

Did you hear about the blonde who had 2 chances to get pregnant?
She blew them both!

Answer 12

How did the blonde burn her nose?
Bobbing for french fries.

Answer 13

Why are blondes like Corn Flakes?
Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Answer 14

Why did the blonde snort Sweet-n-Low?
She thought it was Diet Coke.

Answer 15

Did you hear about the new blonde hoodlum?
She runs around spray-painting her name on chain link fences.

Answer 16

A blonde was walking the beach one day and saw a shark circling a guy in the water. He cried out "Help me! Help me!" The blonde just laughed because she knew the shark wasn't going to help the guy out.

Answer 17

How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Answer 18

What did the blonde eat to increase her breast size?
Silicone chips

Answer 19

Did you hear about the blonde who put "Sagittarius" at the bottom of application forms where it said "Sign here?"

Answer 20

Why don't blondes eat bananas?
They can't find the zipper.

Answer 21

What do a moped and a blonde have in common?
They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Answer 22

Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
She kept having affairs with men!

Answer 23

Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
She's been laid all over the country.

Answer 24

Did you hear about the conceited blonde?
She screams her own name when she comes!

Answer 25

What is the difference between a blonde and a brick?
When you lay a brick it won't follow you around for 2 weeks whining!

Answer 26

Why do blondes always drink with straws?
Practice

Answer 27

What is blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette...?
A blonde doing cartwheels

Answer 28

A blonde went to the doctor for a check up. "Are you sexually active?" he asked. "No," she replied. "I just lay there."

Answer 29

A blonde's idea of lip reading is sitting on a book naked.

Answer 30

What is the first thing a blonde does every morning?
Introduce herself and take the walk of shame home.

Answer 31

What does a blonde use for protection during sex?
A bus shelter

Answer 32

Why do blondes prefer cars with sunroofs?
More leg room

Answer 33

What did the blonde's mom say to her before she went out?
"If you're not in bed by midnight, come home!"

Answer 34

Why do blondes have orgasms?
So they know when to stop having sex.

Answer 35

Why did they invent tilt steering wheels?
To give blondes more headroom.

Answer 36

How does a blonde turn the light out after sex?
She shuts the car door.

Answer 37

What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
FULL!

Answer 38

What do a blond and a 6-pack of beer have in common?
You can carry both with 2 fingers.

Answer 39

What does a blonde say after she has sex?
"So what team do you guys play for?"

Answer 40

Did you hear about the blonde with a Ph.D in Psychology?
She'll blow your mind too!

Answer 41

What did the blonde's right leg say to her left leg?
Between us we could make a lot of money!

Answer 42

What is the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
You don't have to talk to the washing machine after you drop you load in it!

Answer 43

How is a blonde like a frying pan?
You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.

Answer 44

A blonde drops her little black dress off at the cleaners...

Clerk: Come again.
Blonde: No, it's toothpaste this time.

Answer 45

A guy and a blonde are making out in the front seat of his car. After an hour or so he whispers in her ear "do you want to move to the back seat?" She replies "NO!" Flabbergasted, he says "why not?" She says "I want to stay up here with you. It'd be lonely back there!"

Answer 46

Why did the blonde stand over the toilet?
She was trying to get high on pot!

Answer 47

How do you get a blonde on a roof?
Tell her the drinks are on the house.

Answer 48

How do you describe the perfect blonde?
3 feet tall and a flat head to rest your beer on!

Answer 49

Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
She got an "F" in sex!

Answer 50

Knock knock Who's there? Judo Judo who? Judo know what the hell...

Answer 51

A blonde was so sick of people making fun of her for being a...

Answer 52

Blonde: What does IDK stand for? Brunette: I don't know. Blonde:...

Answer 53

Why are only 2% of blondes touch typists? The other 98% are...

Answer 54

How do you plant dope? Bury a blonde