Sign In
Sign Up
Share Jokes
Request Jokes
Popular Topics
Top Characters
2,901,438 people dislike this
You are a pill babe
Categories
Adult & Dirty
(1,040)
Childrens & Clean
(977)
Cooking & Food
(343)
Education
(324)
Entertainment & Arts
(650)
Health & Beauty
(763)
Jobs & Business
(328)
Misc. Themes
(1,552)
Relationships & Family
(1,025)
Science & Tech
(232)
Society & Nature
(1,504)
Sports & Hobbies
(187)
Travel & Places
(368)
Most Popular Topics
adult
animals
body
business
children
clean
crime
dirty
education
ethnic
food
health
insults
jobs
memes
music
places
politics
relationships
religion
science
sex
society
sports
women
Being an idiot isn't a crime so you're free to go
Drinking jokes
Tweet
drinking
bar
Requested
in
Cooking & Food
by
Argo
edited
by
MC Jester
28 Jokes
4
like
0
dislike
A man walks into a bar...
Man: Give me a case of beer! Any kind except Schlitz.
Bartender: What's wrong with Schlitz?
Man: I hate that shit. Last night I drank a case of Schlitz and blew chunks!
Bartender: If you drink a case of any beer you're going to blow chunks.
Man: You don't understand, man. Chunks is my dog's name!
Shared
by
If Then
3
like
0
dislike
Shared
by
K OS
2
like
0
dislike
Hangovers are God's way of saying you kicked ass last night.
Shared
by
NumeroOcho
2
like
0
dislike
Judge: You've been brought here for drinking.
Drunk: Great. Let's get started!
Shared
by
JustMe
2
like
0
dislike
"I don't like to drink. It's just something to do while I'm getting drunk."
Shared
by
a contributor
2
like
0
dislike
"My wife hates the sight of me when I'm drunk... I hate the sight of her when I'm sober!"
Shared
by
NumeroOcho
1
like
0
dislike
Guy: Baby, drinking makes you look beautiful.
Gal: But I don't drink.
Guy: I do.
Shared
by
Argo
1
like
0
dislike
How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
By being too drunk to find your keys.
Shared
by
NumeroOcho
1
like
0
dislike
What do you get when you mix Holy Water with whiskey?
The Holy Spirit
Shared
by
a contributor
1
like
0
dislike
"You look like I need another drink..."
Shared
by
NumeroOcho
1
like
0
dislike
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Shared
by
Argo
1
like
0
dislike
Doug: My wife drives me to drink.
Larry: You're lucky. I have to walk!
Shared
by
Argo
1
like
0
dislike
Brian: I gave up alcohol last year.
Nick: What was it like?
Brian: It was the longest 20 minutes of my life!
Shared
by
a contributor
1
like
0
dislike
Alcohol is not the answer. It just makes you forget the question.
Shared
by
a contributor
1
like
0
dislike
Of course I'm going to drive... I'm too drunk to walk!
Shared
by
a contributor
1
like
0
dislike
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am!"
Shared
by
a contributor
1
like
0
dislike
What did one nail say to the other?
We're getting so hammered tonight!
Shared
by
Argo
1
like
0
dislike
Shared
by
K OS
edited
by
K OS
1
like
0
dislike
Shared
by
NumeroOcho
0
like
0
dislike
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough...
Shared
by
JustMe
0
like
0
dislike
T-Shirt: Drinks well with others.
Shared
by
NumeroOcho
0
like
0
dislike
A wife tells her husband "you sure made a fool of yourself last night! I just hope no one realized you were sober."
Shared
by
Argo
0
like
0
dislike
A weekend wasted isn't a wasted weekend.
Shared
by
K OS
0
like
0
dislike
If you can't drink and drive why do bars have parking lots?
Shared
by
Argo
0
like
0
dislike
"I've got a drinking problem... I've got 2 hands and only 1 mouth."
Shared
by
Argo
0
like
0
dislike
"I drink on two occassions... When it's my birthday and when it's not."
Shared
by
a contributor
0
like
0
dislike
Shared
by
If Then
0
like
0
dislike
Shared
by
K OS
Your joke
Related jokes
7
jokes
Beer jokes
Requested
in
Cooking & Food
by
a contributor
Alcohol is not the answer. Alcohol is the question. Yes is the answer.
10
jokes
Bar jokes
Requested
in
Cooking & Food
by
MC Jester
How is a singles bar different from a circus? At the circus the...
5
jokes
Alcoholic jokes
Requested
in
Health & Beauty
by
Argo
Why is it called "Alcoholics Anonymous" when the first thing you...
5
jokes
You Know Youre Drinking Too Much When jokes
Requested
in
Adult & Dirty
by
Argo
You know you're drinking too much when you fall off the floor.
5
jokes
Tequila jokes
Requested
in
Cooking & Food
by
Argo