Answer 1

How does a blonde kill a worm?
She buries it.

Answer 2

Two blondes were locked out of their car in a parking lot. They used a coat hanger to try to get it open. The one with the hanger rested for a second. "Hurry," the other said "it's going to rain and the top is down!"

Answer 3

2 blondes walk into a building. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

Answer 4

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run! She's holding a grenade.

Answer 5

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence

Answer 6

Did you hear about the blonde who got a pair of water ski's for her birthday?
She's still looking for a lake with a slope so she can use them.

Answer 7

What is the difference between a blonde and a solar-powered calculator?
The blonde works in the dark!

Answer 8

Why was the blonde looking in the refrigerator?
Because the orange juice said concentrate.

Answer 9

Why don't blondes like buttered toast?
They can't figure out which side to butter the toast on!

Answer 10

I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts and she gave me change.

Answer 11

A blonde and a brunette are falling off a building. Who hits the ground first?
The brunette because the blonde would stop for directions.

Answer 12

2 blondes were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in. They went to see "Closed for Winter."

Answer 13

Did you hear about the blonde who missed the 44 bus?
She took the 22 twice instead.

Answer 14

One blonde asked the other if she had ever read Shakespeare? The other said "no, who wrote it?"

Answer 15

What do you call a blonde that just came out of the closet?
The Hide and Seek champion of 1992.

Answer 16

How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Answer 17

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Answer 18

How do you electrocute a blonde?
Tell her to demonstrate how to use an electric chair.

Answer 19

Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
It finally dawned on her!

Answer 20

What job function does a blonde have at an M&M factory?
Proofreading

Answer 21

Why did the blonde lay out on the lawnchair in her bikini at midnight?
She wanted to get a dark tan.

Answer 22

Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

Answer 23

Why did the blonde get so excited after finishing the jigsaw puzzle after 6 months?
Because on the box it said "from 2 - 4 years."

Answer 24

Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
They don't know the route.

Answer 25

Why do blondes wear their hair up?
To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Answer 26

How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Answer 27

Why would a blonde wear green lipstick?
Because red means stop.

Answer 28

Want to know how to amuse a blonde for hours?
Write "please turn over" on both sides of the paper!

Answer 29

How can you tell if a fax was sent by a blonde?
It has a stamp on it.

Answer 30

Why does a blond girl always have a bruise around her belly button?
Because blond boys aren't that smart either.

Answer 31

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory?
She threw away all the w's.

Answer 32

What is the fastest way to get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave at her.

Answer 33

Two blondes were walking through the woods when they came to some tracks. The first blonde said "these look like deer tracks." The other said "no, these look like moose tracks." They argued and argued and were still arguing when the train hit them.

Answer 34

Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
They can't get 8 cups of water into that little packet.

Answer 35

A blonde's house is on fire. She runs outside and yells "help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!" Someone yells "call 911!" The blonde yells back "what's their number?"

Answer 36

Why didn't the blondes go to the movies on "One Buck Night?"
They couldn't fit a deer into the car.

Answer 37

What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up!

Answer 38

Did you hear the joke about the blonde who brought cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?

Answer 39

When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
After a dye job.

Answer 40

What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
3rd grade

Answer 41

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong."

Answer 42

Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week?
So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.

Answer 43

Did you hear about the blonde with the tire marks on her back?
She crawled across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK"

Answer 44

What do you call a blonde in an institution for higher learning?
A visitor.

Answer 45

What is the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.

Answer 46

A blonde ordered a pizza and the cashier asked her if she would like 4 pieces or 8. She replied 4 of course, I could never eat 8!

Answer 47

How do you kill a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool

Answer 48

A blonde and a brunette were hanging on a rope off an edge of a cliff, the brunette realized that the rope was going to break if both of them continued to hold on so she gave a long and eloquent speech about how it would be better if she let go, at the end the blonde started to clap.

Answer 49

A genie appeared to a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. It told them to jump off a cliff and say any object and they would land in it. So the redhead jumps off the cliff and yells "CARS!" she lands in a pile of cars and dies. The brunette jumps off the cliff and yells "MONEY!" and she lands in a pile of change and dies. The blonde gets a running start and at the last moment she trips on a rock and yells "CRAP!" so she lands in a pile of crap and survives.

Answer 50

Brunette: My boyfriend has a dandruff problem so I gave him Head and Shoulders. It cleared it up.
Blonde: How do you give shoulders?

Answer 51

Did you hear about the blonde who lost half her brain? Her husband...

Answer 52

A blonde was so sick of people making fun of her for being a...

Answer 53

Blonde: What does IDK stand for? Brunette: I don't know. Blonde:...

Answer 54

Why are only 2% of blondes touch typists? The other 98% are...

Answer 55

How do you plant dope? Bury a blonde