Answer 1

Why did 18 blondes go to the movies together?
They heard that under 17 weren't admitted.

Answer 2

What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted!

Answer 3

What did the blonde do when she had her period?
Look around for the bastard who shot her!

Answer 4

Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
She got an "F" in sex!

Answer 5

A blonde walks into a doctor's office. "Doctor, what's wrong with me?" she says.
"I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts.
I touch my leg, ouch! It hurts.
I touch my head, ouch! It hurts.
I touch my chest, ouch! It really hurts!"
The doctor says "your finger is broken."

Answer 6

A blonde guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. When the wife started having contractions the husband held her hand at the hospital through the trying birth. When she ended up having two baby boys the blonde guy angrily questioned his wife "all right, who's the other father?!"

Answer 7

How can you tell if a blonde is rejecting a new brain transplant?
She sneezes.

Answer 8

How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
Give her a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say "hi."

Answer 9

A policeman pulled over a blonde after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.

Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.

Answer 10

Did you hear about the blonde tap dancer?
She fell in the sink!

Answer 11

What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer?
A hula hoop with a nail in it.

Answer 12

How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
One

Answer 13

Why do blondes stand under light bulbs?
It's the closest they'll come to a bright idea.

Answer 14

A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!

Answer 15

A blonde was swimming. She swam deeper and deeper until she drowned. Her husband came home to find her dead in the bathtub.

Answer 16

What do you call a blonde in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch Manager

Answer 17

How do you recognize a blonde in school?
They're the only one who erase their notebook when the teacher erases the blackboard.

Answer 18

How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
She threw it off a cliff.

Answer 19

A blonde tried to blow up her husband's car. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

Answer 20

Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
So she wouldn't get Hearing Aids.

Answer 21

Teacher: What's the capital of California?
Blond: That's easy. It's C.

Answer 22

What does a blonde say after you blow in her ear?
"Thanks for the refill!"

Answer 23

Mother: Oh my god! My baby swallowed a pin?!
Blonde: It's OK. It was a safety pin.

Answer 24

Why did the blonde return the scarf she was given as a gift?
It was too tight.

Answer 25

Why don't blondes breast-feed their babies?
It hurts when they boil their nipples.

Answer 26

What did the blonde do when she saw someone had written on the overhead transparency?
She flipped it over and used the other side.

Answer 27

Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?
The balls are lighter and you don't have to change shoes.

Answer 28

Why did the blonde start taking the pill?
So she would know what day it was!

Answer 29

Did you hear about the blonde who was depressed?
She decided to shoot herself and then her family.

Answer 30

How does a blonde brush her teeth?
She holds the toothbrush and moves her head up and down.

Answer 31

Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed?
So she could see how long she slept.

Answer 32

What did the blonde say when the guy drowning in a lake yelled out for a life saver?
"Grape or Cherry?"

Answer 33

How does a blonde commit suicide?
She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off!

Answer 34

How do you shut up a blonde?
Stick her in front of a mirror and tell her not to speak until the other one does.

Answer 35

Why do blondes have square boobs?
They forget to take the tissues out of the box!

Answer 36

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering it?
The noise was giving her a headache!

Answer 37

Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
She was stuck in a trap. She chewed off 3 of her legs and was still stuck.

Answer 38

Batman, Superman, and a smart blonde all died the same day. Which one got to Heaven first?
None of them. They're all make-believe.

Answer 39

A blonde was so sick of people making fun of her for being a...

Answer 40

Blonde: What does IDK stand for? Brunette: I don't know. Blonde:...

Answer 41

Why are only 2% of blondes touch typists? The other 98% are...

Answer 42

How do you plant dope? Bury a blonde

Answer 43

Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? She...