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Vampire jokes

  

15 Jokes

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What did one vampire say to the other vampire?
You SUCK!
Shared by The Joker
edited by MC Jester
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What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.
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What happens when two vampires meet?
It's love at first bite!
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Why are vampires unpopular?
Because they're a pain in the neck!
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What became of the 2 vampires who couldn't get married?
They loved in vein.
Shared by a contributor
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Why are vampires such bad gamblers?
They're always making sucker bets!
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Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank?
He was drinking on the job.
Shared by a contributor
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Why didn't the vampire call the ghoul back for a 2nd date?
She wasn't his type... too vein.
Shared by a contributor
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What surgery did the vampire doctor perform?
A fly-by-night operation
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What does an overweight vampire drink?
Blood light
Shared by a contributor
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Why did the vampire give his girlfriend a blood test?
To see if she was his type.
Shared by a contributor
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Patient: I keep thinking I'm a vampire...
Doctor: Necks please!
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Where did the vampire open a savings account?
At a blood bank
Shared by a contributor
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What do you get when you cross a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests
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Can vampires donate blood?
Shared by a contributor

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