Answer 1

Some cause happiness wherever they go. You make it whenever you go.

Answer 2

What do you call two physicians? Paradox

Answer 3

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

Answer 4

I pretend to work here and they pretend to pay me.

Answer 5

Why do Mexicans have small steering wheels? So they can drive with...

Answer 6

Husband: What would you like for your 40th birthday? A diamond...

Answer 7

A man entered a pun contest in the local newspaper. He sent in ten...

Answer 8

How does an LA cop catch fish? He catches one and beats it until...

Answer 9

Yo mama so fat she sat on a penny and a booger came out of...

Answer 10

Q: Did you hear about what happened to the mohel who had cataracts...

Answer 11

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and...

Answer 12

What kind of ships do vampires have? Blood vessels

Answer 13

What is an elephant's favorite sport? Squash

Answer 14

Why did the bird go to the doctor? He needed tweetment.

Answer 15

Why is the letter 'G' so scary? It turns a host into a ghost.

Answer 16

T-Shirt: Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep!

Answer 17

"Time's fun when you're having flies." - Kermit the Frog

Answer 18

Half of American shoppers buy gift cards at Christmas. The other...

Answer 19

What does a math teacher eat? Square meals

Answer 20

What do you call an old dentist? A bit long in the tooth...